Jen to Gerard: Brad and I will always have Paris

It’s just science, people.

Case in point: Jen has been in Europe promoting her film The Bounty Hunter with Gerard Butler. And while they’ve been flirting up a storm, according to In Touch Weekly magazine, she’s been thinking about Brad the whole time. ‘As a clear message to Brad, Jennifer spent her weekend in the most romantic city in the world [that’s Paris!] visiting the places that remind her of the love of her life, whom she divorced in 2005.’

But is that all there is to the story, you might be asking yourself? Of course not!

We’ve gotten our hands on an audio recording from a source who followed Jen and Gerard around Paris as she visited all the places that reminded her of Brad. For legal reasons, we can’t post the actual audio here, but we’ve got a transcript:

Jennifer Aniston: God, I love Paris. It’s the most romantic city in the world, did you know that, Gerry?

Gerard Butler: I did, Jen.

JA: How did you know that?

GB: I think I read it somewhere.

JA: In a book?

GB: Maybe.

JA: You’re funny.

GB: Thanks.

JA: Oh my God, it’s the Eiffel Tower. I went up there once. With Brad. Brad Pitt, who I divorced in 2005, as you know.

GB: Was that 2005?

JA: I know. It feels like yesterday, doesn’t it?

GB: No.

JA: Yeah, just like it was yesterday. Oh, and there’s the Louvre museum!

GB: Wow, we got there fast…

JA: I’ve been there, Gerry. I’ve been there with Brad. He taught me how to appreciate art and really talk about it, you know? Really understand what’s, um, pretty. He showed me what’s pretty.

GB: So what’s your favourite piece in the museum?

JA: Um… all of them.

GB: I see.

JA: Ah, the Cathedral of Notre Dame! It’s just as Brad and I left it! You’d think it would have crumbled. Like our love. But no! It’s still standing.

GB: Why don’t we just go back to the hotel? I think you need to lie down.

JA: Don’t tell me what I need! You’re not Brad!

GB: I know I’m not Brad! I just… I just want the opportunity to… to love you…

JA: And there’s the Arch de Triumph! Brad and I once walked right underneath it. We were both eating gelato, which is just like ice-cream, but it’s not.

GB: I know what gelato is.

JA: I don’t think you do! Brad knew what gelato was! Brad knew what a lot of things were!

GB: I’m sure he did, Jen, but Brad’s not here right now. I am.

JA: Oh, Gerry! Give me a kiss!

GB: Oh, Jen!

JA: Hey, where’s that other hand going? Oh!

GB: Good morning!

They laugh and laugh.