Oscars Predictions: Who will/should/can't win!
Date posted: March-05-2010
17:04
Because there is not nearly enough Oscar coverage out there – shame on you, media – we at Off the Record decided to fill the void with our usual brand of hard core, savvy, fun but serious journalism.
And so, just in time for the Oscars telecast, we weigh in on how exactly everything will go on the greatest showbiz night of the year. Will $500 million blockbuster Avatar clean up? Or is this The Hurt Locker’s year?
Are you ready? Of course you aren’t. Who is? But here we go anyway…
PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A LEADING ROLE
Jeff Bridges - Crazy Heart
George Clooney - Up in the Air
Colin Firth - A Single Man
Morgan Freeman - Invictus
Jeremy Renner - The Hurt Locker
As delightful as Morgan Freeman was in March of the Penguins, we’re going to have to go with Jeff Bridges on this one. At the same time, we don’t really get the title of that movie. How can someone’s heart be crazy? It just doesn’t make biological sense.
PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A LEADING ROLE
Sandra Bullock - The Blind Side
Helen Mirren - The Last Station
Carey Mulligan - An Education
Gabourey Sidibe - Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire
Meryl Streep - Julia & Julia
This was one of the toughest races to call. Meryl Streep, who was so great in Death Becomes Her with Roseanne Barr, seems like a shoe-in (whatever that means), but we’re going to have to go with Sandra Bullock on this one. After almost winning Oscars for Love Potion No 9, Pretty Woman AND The Devil Wears Prada, she is due.
ACHIEVEMENT IN DIRECTING
Avatar - James Cameron
The Hurt Locker - Katherine Bigelow
Inglourious Basterds - Quentin Tarantino
Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire - Lee Daniels
Up in the Air - Jason Reitman
When picking best director, we like to ask ourselves the following question: Have you ever heard of any of these people? If the answer is no – and it is – then you have to go with Quentin Tarantino. Every time.
PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Matt Damon - Invictus
Woody Harrelson - The Messenger
Christopher Plummer - The Last Station
Stanley Tucci - The Lovely Bones
Christoph Waltz - Inglourious Basterds
Who should win? Matthew McConaughey for Surfer, Dude. Who will win? Al Pacino for Scent of a Woman. Wait…
PERFORMANCE BY AN ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Penelope Cruz - Nine
Vera Farmiga - Up in the Air
Maggie Gyllenhaal - Crazy Heart
Anna Kendrick - Up in the Air
Mo’Nique - Precious: Based on the Novel ‘Push’ by Sapphire
This category is always impossible to predict. Except this year. When that envelope opens, it’ll be Mo’Nique who wins. Why? First of all, the Academy has proven time and time again that it overwhelmingly (and a little bizarrely) supports open marriage.
And finally, the moment you’ve all been waiting for…
BEST MOTION PICTURE OF THE YEAR
Avatar – Haven’t seen it.
The Blind Side – Haven’t seen it.
District 9 – We were not allowed into that particular district. Haven’t seen it.
An Education – It was an education all right. Haven’t seen it.
The Hurt Locker – Don’t understand the title; didn’t see it.
Inglourious Basterds – Spelled incorrectly, this should win.
Precious – What movie is this? Really, what is this?
A Serious Man – A serious mess! Just kidding. Haven’t seen it.
Up / Up in the Air – Are these the same movie? Is this a typo?